


Smells Like Trouble

by sqbr



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Noir, F/F, Fanart, Gen, Inspired by Fanart, Remix, The Fun Kind of Major Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-14 09:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7165550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sqbr/pseuds/sqbr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A comic about the great Terezi Pyrope, private detective, and her mysterious client Miss Aradia Megido.</p><p>Remixed from <a href="http://ufos-art.tumblr.com/post/140686513700/request-noir-terezi-detective-pyrope-prowled-the">Noir Detective Terezi</a> by uforin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Comic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [uforin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/uforin/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Detective Terezi](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/205934) by uforin. 



> The transcript is in Chapter 2.
> 
> I had lots of fun going through uforin's Homestuck tag, I haven't drawn a comic this long in years so thank you for the inspiration!

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day I will learn to make my comic panels tall enough but not today.
> 
> I 100% stole the composition for the first panel from [Hard Boiled Ed](http://www.forbiddenplanet.co.uk/blog/2007/living-in-the-neo-noir-shadows-with-hard-boiled-ed/). In general I owe a heavy debt to Wally Wood's 22 Panels That Work for giving me so many different ways to hide someone's eyes.


	2. Comic Transcript

Image descriptions:  
All images are in a noir comic style. Everyone is human. Terezi wears a trenchcoat, shirt and tie, and red shoes. Aradia usually wears a black sleeveless dress with red Aries symbol piping and red gloves.  
Page 1, title:  
Terezi leans back on her desk, cigar in hand. On the desk are scattered papers and a braille typwriter. Aradia is outlined against the blinds. There is the Homestuck clock against the wall. 

Page 2:  
Panel 1: Voices coming from a dilapidated warehouse.

Terezi: You know, Miss Megido, I may be blind, but I'm not stupid

Aradia: I wouldn't have hired you if I thought you were stupid, detective Pyrope

Exactly! Solving mysteries is my business. And the mystery I'm currently pondering is you.

Aradia: Me? How am I mysterious?

Terezi: Let us consider the facts!

Panel 2: A file with braille pages and a photo of Aradia in an Indian Jones outfit. She has medium brown skin.

Terezi: Aradia Megido, aged 26. Grew up poor on the outskirts of Alternia city. Supported yourself through college with a job as a mortuary assistant, because you're morbid as heck. Stuck around when it turned out archaeology jobs were thin on the ground. We on the same page so far?

Aradia: You think I'm morbid?

Terezi: Yeah, but in a cute way!

Panel 3: Aradia looks in shock at the stabbed corpse of Tavros, lying on a mortuary table.

Terezi: So! You might have stayed a happy little corpse assistant forever, were it not for... corpse shenanigans! 

Terezi: Someone was murdering roleplayers! And when you tried to investigate, your own life was threatened!

Page 3: 

Panel 1: A door labelled "The great Terezi Pyrope, Private Investigator"

Terezi: Thus: a mystery. Thus: a detective! And not just any detective. The great Terezi Pyrope!

Aradia: Right! I must admit that  
when we first met I thought you a little arrogant. But you really are a great detective.

Panel 2: A finger pointed accusingly at Vriska.

Terezi: And you hired me for a great case! Deadly Dice! Corrupt CEOs! A web of negligence and greed. That mystery was easy.

Panel 3: Terezi hides behind a wall from police with torches.

Aradia: It didn't feel that easy when we were running from the police.

Terezi: Aha! And here's where the real mystery emerges. Because the  
way I remember it, it wasn't us they were chasing. Just me. 

panel 4: Terezi talks to Sollux.

It was just me questioning suspects. Just me picking up the lab results. Just me talking to your boss, who said he hadn't seen you in months. Mysterious enough for you, Miss Megido?

Page 4:  
Panel 1: Terezi and Aradia's sillouhettes through two broken warehouse windows.

Aradia: Do you think I haven't been helping enough?

Terezi: Nah. You've been working hard behind the scenes! 

Aradia: I'm glad you think so. I think we make a pretty good team.

Terezi:So you like working with me?

Aradia: Yes! Lots! You're really great, Terezi. In fact I...

Panel 2:  
Terezi: If you like me so much, why do you always keep your distance?

Aradia: Um. I just like a lot of personal space!

Terezi: A whole room's worth? It's pretty mean to make it so hard to hear or touch  
you. Do you hate blind people, Miss Megido?

Aradia: Of course not!

Panel 3:  
Terezi: Do you think I smell?

Aradia: Not...especially?

Page 5:  
Panel 1:  
Terezi (grinning): Haha, yeah, I happen to know I smell fantastic. So my one remaining question is...

Panel 2: Warehouse interior. There are cardboard boxes labelled "Flarp glowing dice". Terezi is approaching Aradia, who is floating above the ground and has pure white skin and white eyes. 

Terezi: Aradia, just how long have you been dead?

Page 6:  
Panel 1:  
Aradia: Since May. 

Terezi: Huh!

Aradia: It was just after I contacted the police. Didn't manage to see who it was. Probably vriska?

Terezi: So before you stole the prototype? How'd you manage that? 

Aradia: I can pass as human from a distance.

Panel 3: Aradia is creating a white ball of goo.

Aradia: I...woke up from being dead next to a pool of blood. Guess they got rid of my body. At first all I could do was float around watching everyone. But then I figured out how to create and control this...I guess it's ectoplasm? It's a sort of white goo. I can cover some with clothes and a wig but it doesn't look like skin.

Terezi: Doesn't smell or sound much like it either.

Aradia:Ah. I was silly to think you wouldn't notice

Terezi: Yep. Is it poisonous?

Aradia: No, I did some tests, and...

Page 7:  
Panel 1: Terezi grabs Aradia's face and licks it.

Aradia: Haha that tickles!

Panel 2: 

Terezi: Doesn't taste or feel like skin either. Not bad though. Smooth. Kinda salty.

Aradia: Sorry I didn't tell you I was dead. People can be weird about that kind of thing.

Terezi: Don't worry about it!

Panel 3:

Aradia: do you still want to  
help me bring down these  
murdering bastards?

Terezi: Hell. Yes.

Aradia: Great. Because I have an idea, but I'm going to need your help getting some dynamite…

Terezi: I love it, tell me more.

Panel 4:  
Aradia and Terezi hold hands in front of a burning warehouse.

THE END


End file.
